I have to answer to Becket about the potato salad. No, I didn't put it aside. But I did make less and I should have kept with the original program. It's Monday and there is NO POTATO SALAD left! Ten pounds of potatoes just doesn't make enough salad. Then there was the super lean hamburger I used to make patties this year. Too lean. So I added sour cream, eggs, beefy onion powdered soup mix, bread crumbs and off to the barbie! I had so many hamburgers to cook, but I thought that would be ok to have some in the freezer. I was all right with that. Well, it's Monday and there are NO HAMBURGERS left over! Now what will we eat?

I missed the parade again this year. Because I had to make the salad. Next year I am planning ahead of time and I WILL be to the parade. No one here really gets why I like the parade, but I do so that's all that matters.

We had part of family here in and out over the day. Everyone is getting in to their own celebration of this day. That's ok but it makes things a bit lonely here. I work as hard for a few as for a lot so I'm tired as usual. There was a time...

So happy Fourth of July to all of you and I hope your days celebrating our freedom and our wonderful country (but not leaders) were pleasant and popping good!!!

Oh, my word!!! I am here after all.

I just had a really good trip to Nauvoo, Illinois. My son, my father, my sister, my niece and I went to attend the wedding and celebration of another niece who lives in Iowa. We left here on Wednesday evening at 6:05 and arrived in Fort Madison, Iowa, the following evening around 6:00. If I knew how to download pictures and insert them here I would show you a picture of the temple at night. What a lovely building! And of course inside is even better.

We hurried on over to Iowa (a two hour trip) to prepare for the reception. Our group was probably a little in the way but we tried to be of help and assistance. We spent the next day playing around. My brother teaches at a local college and showed us some chemistry tricks and then made ice cream with liquid nitrogen. That was interesting and we had lots of fun. Afterwards, the building became the venue for a game of freeze tag that covered four floors and stairwells. We have been in on that action a couple of times before and it really is a lot of fun. I guess it isn't exactly college learning, but probably fits with college hijinx.

The next day we attended church where my brother is well in to his eight year (and third time around) as branch president. We stayed for the first meeting and then hurriedly changed clothes and headed on down the freeway! We stopped in Florence, Nebraska, and went to the Winter Quarters visitor's center. The change to that neighborhood is quite drastic. I can remember visiting there when there was NO visitor's center and again later when the "center" was a trailer. The surrounding streets gave one cause to worry about safety. Today, with the temple in the midst of this quiet scene, the streets are clean, the stores are new, the feeling is truly peaceful.

Onward. To Laramie, Wyoming. But first we had to pay homage to the rest area where I was left in the middle of the night with no identification, no money, no one to call, no description of vehicle to tell the highway patrol so they could find my family and ask if they wanted me back. That was a long night.

We caught a few hours of sleep in Laramie and then headed home, arriving about 4pm. That adds up to, let's see, 5 and a half days, approximately 4,000 miles, a little TB, but fun times. We even laughed a little in the car at times.

So, now, do you have an inexpensive little apartment for a very newly wedded couple? They need a place to nest in. Both are students, naturally, with very little money.

There is a beautiful clear view from the front of the temple to the Mississippi River. The grass slopes down into the flat where the church has restored and also built many new homes and businesses. At the visitor's center there is an absolutely breathtaking exhibit of 13 sculptures depicting events in the life of Christ that lift us up and cause us great joy. You can see pictures of some of these at either ajsculptures.com, or iamthelightoftheworld.org. The artist also has a web page where you can find out more about her: mormonsoprano.com. You will enjoy the visit. I have favorites, but I saw them in person and the feeling is different than looking online.

I have not been here in so long that I wonder if I remember how to type, or think or process or relate or communicate. Oh wait! I don't think I know that last one.

Some things on my mind that I am trying to work around or through:
relatives who come to stay with my dad (and stay and stay)
daughters-in-law
summer projects
"puddles" around my house
flower gardens
weight gain
mental anguish

Well I certainly could extend the list. But instead I need to "clean" up two bedrooms to accommodate family coming tonight for the weekend and food assignments so I guess I am actually off to clean the grill. Postulating and commiserating on this blog will have to wait---yet again.

Oh, and forget about that last silly coded blog. Just head off to the wordle.net website and have fun creating your own word clouds.

title="Wordle: sons8"> src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/865993/sons8"
alt="Wordle: sons8"
style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd">

A Post to say I Posted

And that is what this is: a post to say I posted.

We said goodbye to a very dear friend today. I know she's pretty busy catching up with her family, but I hope she finds time to say hi to my mom. With only a couple of exceptions the funeral was a very nice meeting and remembrance of a lovely lady, a strong disciple of her savior, and example to all.

Even in such a reverent setting, I couldn't help the caustic comment that "that isn't allowed," when the grandson made oral references from the pulpit about the music he was about to play. And HE was even there! What was that about. I'm sure no one got a scotch blessing out of that. No, I am NOT bitter.

What I want to say about this situation is that there is never anything wrong with a slight introduction and explanation of a piece of music when it adds to the moment. In fact, I think it adds to the enjoyment, or even worship, when you can understand a little about the selection. I totally enjoyed that piece of music and the young man made it even more enjoyable by his comments about his grandmother.

Onward.

The men in my dad's little girl's life went on a backpacking trip this weekend. No one was particularly prepared and they bit off a little more than they could do. Each one of them is of course older than the last time they tried this and so time takes it's toll. And even tho they made lemonade out of their lemons (I can fill this up with cliches) they are a bit disappointed, not to mention pooped.

I thought about all the projects I could pick from to accomplish while this precious time was mine. There was painting the hallway, moving the fridge (first removing the cabinets that are in the way), sewing for those cute little granddaughters, reading, sleeping, watching movies. But there was my dad and then my brother and then my aunt needed her hair colored, and my friend needed to be funeralized and I had to do a little grocery shopping and there was dad again and then they came home... I bet you can't guess how many projects I was able to finish!

Last week was third grade, first grade, and then fourth grade. Monday I go all the way to fifth grade! That hasn't happened yet this year. But the teacher has lost her position at the school because of budget cuts and is off to apply at another school district. We all need some kind of work so I hope she is successful. Wednesday I drop down to first grade and again on Friday.

I think that chocolatey cream cheesy cupcake sounds pretty good. So do caramels rolled in sea salt. Maybe we should make some more cards.

Thanks, my friend, for finding this:

My friend found the rest of this monologue about mother:


Your mother is always with you.
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of certain foods you remember, the flowers
you buy and the perfume that she wore.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well,
she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.
She's the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
the colours of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.
Your mother lives inside your laughter. . . she is crystallized
in every tear drop.
A mother shows every emotion . . . happiness, love, hate, anger,
helplessness, excitement, joy and sorrow.
And all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the
good things in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home and she's the map
you follow with every you step you take.
She's your first love, your first friend,
and even your first enemy,
but nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space and not even death.

Missionaries and Families

I'm on a roll and so I am entering yet another heart gripper. First, though, I want to remember my friend Bernice. She left us last night and I feel an empty space in my heart. She was a very dear friend.

Enjoy:
They were five teenagers with ordinary faces. They had the kind of haircuts that tuck well under baseball caps. Their young bodies contrasted sharply with the white shirts and sober suits they all wore. They dressed as men that day.

All around them clustered family, quietly talking, laughing, crying, waiting. The plane was almost ready to begin boarding. The plane's destination was the Soviet Union.

These five young men, some with their suit jackets slung across their arms, quietly gathered together. They spoke in low tones while the noise and bustle of the airline terminal swirled around them.

Each had a crying mother, a proud father, a family unit to say goodbye to. They would be gone for two years. They were some of the first to test glasnost and enter the Soviet Union with long-forbidden books of religion, and a message about God.

The plane was ready for boarding.

The five young men put down their precious books, their suitcases, their flowers and cards. They stood together in silence, and then as one voice, they began to sing.

Quiet and hardly noticed at first, their harmony rose clearer and deeper as all noise and movement in the airline terminal slowly ceased. They were singing for their families. They were singing for themselves. They were singing for all the lives they hoped to touch in Communist Russia.

"God be with us till we meet again," they sang. "Till we meet, at Jesus' feet. God be with us till we meet again."

As they sang, their families joined to form one family, linking hands and weeping. Strangers stopped in mid-stride as they entered the stilled terminal and heard singing. All around them travelers stood with bowed heads and glistening eyes.

"Till we meet, till we meet. God be with us till we meet again."

Then they were gone, in a last flurry of hugs and kisses. They left behind them a song and an experience that was extraordinary.

Peace had come briefly, fleetingly, to an airline terminal. Peace followed five young men onto a plane bound for Russia. Peace that had nothing to do with nuclear arsenals or Geneva conventions. Peace as simple and moving as a song.

God be with them.

and with you...

Another Mother Story

This one is also borrowed. But the sentiment is still the same.
Love, From Your Daughter Barbara

Even as a child I loved to sing. I would go into my room after church on Sunday and draw pictures and sing and sing, until my mother came to the door to say, "Mary, please don't sing so loud in here. It's not that we don't like to know you are happy, honey, but you know you just can't carry a tune."

Singing was in my heart, though, and I would go up into the woods behind our house and run through the woods singing all the songs I wanted to: sad songs that broke my heart and I'd cry, and happy songs that made me feel so good I'd laugh out loud.

When I married and had my first child, I would sit and sing the loveliest songs to him. Songs I made up from my heart to tell him how much I loved him---how special he was to me. And he would smile and cuddle close to me and fall asleep in my arms as I sang my songs of joy.

Each child, then, received his or her own special song, made up just for that child, telling of my feelings and love for him. I sang only when there was no one around, for my husband agreed with my mother. "I'm sorry, honey, but you sound just awful when you sing."

The children didn't seem to mind my off-tune voice at all. In fact, we sang wonderful play songs together, laughing and playing and enjoying the sound of our voices. Many happy hours were spent sitting, marching, walking, and playing games with singsong instructions.

After having four wonderful children, I received my greatest joy---twin boys! What a blessing. How wonderful it was to sit and hold them in my arms for hours, singing of my love for them while they cuddled close to me and then fell asleep.

Because everyone had always told me that my singing voice left much to be desired, I hesitated to sing for anyone except the babies. In church, even though I knew the Lord loved to hear us sing, my "noise unto the Lord" was a very soft noise. And at home I always made sure the house was empty before I picked up my hymnbook to sing my favorites.

One evening after the children had all gone to bed and my husband had duty at the Navy base, I picked up my hymnbook and began to sing "How Gentle God's Commands." I sang and felt the great love of our Heavenly Father who loves us so much even though we disregard his gentle commands.

"O My Father," I sang, aching to go back to his home where I could be with him again.

"The Lord is My Light"---my favorite---I sang with all the love I felt in my heart for the guidance he had given me in my life.

Finishing my singing, I put my head in my arms and poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father, thanking him for the love he had for us, and for the great feeling of peace that came to me when I could sit and sing to him and talk to him, escaping from this mortal world for even a few minutes.

Then I turned out the lights and went upstairs to my room. I noticed a sheet of paper on the dressser that hadn't been there before. I picked it up and tears came to my eyes as I read:

Mom
I don't care what any one says about your singing voice. But I think it was so butiful the way you sang them songs. I was crying in my bed wile I was lisenning to you sing, and I love you very much.
Love from your daughter Barbara

I found her with tears in her eyes in her bed. "Oh, Barbie," I said, "you are the only person who has ever told me he likes my singing. Thank you, honey." She hugged me back and sobbed, "Mommie, I just couldn't let it go. I had to get out of bed and write that note to you. I was crying listening to your beautiful singing."

I thought later that if our Heavenly Father loves my voice so much he inspires my daughter to write me a lovely note and share her feelings with me, he must love to hear us sing more than I realize.

The next Sunday when we sang the opening song, I sang out just as loud as the rest of the people did. My Heavenly Father liked my voice and that was all that mattered to me!

This was long! I hope you made it through. There are a lot of angles in this piece, but motherhood is still the subject.

My Mother

Mom passed away almost three years ago. Her mortal birthday was April 5th and so I of course have been thinking of her. I was reminded of a monologue I heard once on a tv show. It was so touching to me that I played it back over and over again until I had it word for word. Here it is for, I hope, your enjoyment:

Your mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered sox. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your mother lives inside your laughter and she's crystallized in every teardrop.

She's the place you came from---your first home---and she's the map you follow with every step that you take. She's your first love and your first heart-break and nothing on earth can separate you, not time, not space, not even death.

I've got another one for next time.

I was in a first grade class this week and again experienced the Tongan prophet who probably should be in a higher grade but isn't. Math was taught after lunch and Pro sat on the floor in the back of the group and proceeded to go to sleep---even stretching out on the floor. The kids said that he did that all the time and I was supposed to send him to the office. No, I said, and invited Pro to sit up by me where he could hear and participate in the math lesson.

I wonder how many times we allow the children to "rule" in the classroom and "get away with" actions such as this so they don't have to learn. Even in a class of only 21 students it's easy to pass on the kids who are trying to get attention in any way they can think of. They begin to fall thru the cracks even in first grade and learn how to manipulate the whole system long before they fail out of high school. I am truly sorry for these children who are looking for the easiest way to "get things done." What kind of people will be our teachers, government officials, etc., in the future? I quake in my boots at the possible answer to this question.

On another note, I think I see a daffodil trying to bloom in my "garden." And the tulips have heads, just not blossoms yet. There is hope...

This came to me in an email today from one of my daughters-in-law. I went to the notated website and found it to be a viable site. I think we should be aware of what the government wants to do "for" us. I want to be able to trust my dr and to know he or she has the same ethics and conscience that I hope I do. I signed my name to this page and urge any of you to at least go there and see what they have to say.

April 2, 2009

An open letter to my Patients and Friends,

I wanted to alert you to a potential change that could have a big effect on how you are cared for by your doctor and the doctors in our and other offices. In December of 2008 government rules were put in place to protect physicians from either having to do something they don’t believe in or having to refer patients for something they don’t believe in. There is now a plan to do away with these rules. This would mean we would have to at least refer patients for something we don’t feel is ethical and violates our personal conscience (abortion, single women and birth control are the major issues).

If these rules are removed, our ability to act according to our personal conscience and ethics in caring for you is at risk. For us, that could begin the downhill path which would mean you couldn’t count on your doctor to protect you or a family member since the personal beliefs of your doctor that you know can’t be reflected in the care you get. If it starts with these issues, what is to prevent more changes in the future?

This is important enough that we, in our group, would have to stop practicing medicine, stop seeing patients where the government pays for health care (Medicare & Medicaid), or try finding a new way to be paid for caring for you.

If you can access the Internet, please go to www.freedom2care.org and click on the top where it says “Patients-comment here” to help us in this fight. This will lead you through a process where you can register your disagreement with the proposed changes via the Internet. If you don’t have the ability to use the Internet, ask us and we’ll provide you the information.

The time to do this is now as the government must hear from you and us by April 9, 2009. This issue is critical for the way we could care for you and still keep our own integrity. To protect the care you will receive in the future, please help us today.

Sincerely,

Dale E. Michels, MD, D-ABFM

I thought I might update this sad sight but Zippie is sickie. So when I can hold my head up again without holding it in my hands I will make some manner of noise. Til then, stay well my friends.

I am shriveled up inside.
I have nothing to offer.
I see my life as failed.
What a way to go to sleep.
If I can.

I have waited for my turn at the computer and it is now so late that even if I could remember what I wanted to share I am too bleary-eyed to be able to type it in here. So much for wanting to stay current. Good luck to everyone!

What a day this has been. What a rare mood I'm in. Why it's almost like being...POOPED!

For the next five days I will be teaching in a first grade class. Today went well so if we can keep things at that level life will be...ok.

I am also trying to clean the carpet of the water damaged bedroom at my dad's house. Tonight I got not quite half of it finished and tomorrow we will move furniture on to it so that the other plus half can get cleaned. And after that we will put all the furniture back and make it usable again.

I went to card class tonight. How I enjoy those sisters. All of them. Each has something different to "bring to the table." And I find great camaraderie in their companionship.

I know this is another short entry but I am ready to drop. So I hope this let you know that I haven't given up and will even try to write something more elaborate soon.

Ahhh, the dentist. And that is just what you have to do...ahhh. My not so favorite place in all the world to go, even tho' the man himself is an ok kind of guy. I still face another visit next week and then probably some porcelain caps. yeah and What Fun!

The cannery is coming up again this week and I will sport really fantastic cannery hair. I only hope I can get it "fluffed" out enough to go to the Draper temple open house.

We also have a senior recital of a grand nephew to go to --- full of his own compostion. That will be a treat.

I really am going to write here in earnest one of these days but in the meantime I am really in earnest. So go and have a good day, ya'll.

Just a short entry to let my friends know I am still alive (?) I'm not sure that is good news but it is news none the less. I took a leave of work this week for some reason. I wish I could say it was because I spent so much time cleaning out a room, or a closet, or even a drawer. But not so. I can't think of a thing that I accomplished this week. I even missed the women's meeting yesterday that I had planned on attending. What a way to waste a week!

With all that wonderful news actually written down I am now leaving this blog to go to three truly ??? hours of meetings.

See ya later.

(See if you can count all the w words.)

Still no pictures. I just don't know how to do that. If I did you would see a picture of Joe Bandidos and a plate of fajita burrito dinner. Pretty good. Half went home and fed Alex. The people we went to dinner with are friends of John's from forever. We were all married on the same day and attended each other's wedding.

Then I would show a picture of my dad's family room --- which is far worse than mine could ever be! --- and maybe even a picture of all the cars that swarm to the front of his home. Who do they all belong to? And after that and bleepin' picture of comcast whom my father despises! He has such trouble accessing voice mail. (After all, he can't possibly be pushing the wrong numbers!) Finally we discovered that you can access your voice mail at home by dialing *99. Who knew? And after that you can turn off the need for a pin number or code or whatever. Maybe some of the angst will disappear now. We shall see at the first message.

Walking in the rain wasn't so bad. The aftermath is however. I gotta try to fix this hair or start all over...

Two Sacrament Meetings for one day. That's enough, wouldn't you think? So that's what we did. Friends speaking in one and another friend speaking as a "farewell" which we don't do anymore. Off she is to Samoa for 18 months. Good for her and good for them. She will be a fantastic missionary.

Then a quiet evening at home with Angela and Samantha. This grandma wouldn't even have minded a quiet evening with the other 12. What can I say. I love them all.

The library is a cool place. Checking books in and out is a cool thing to do. Telling The Three Bears six times is a cool thing to do. Watching a sixth grade readers theater of Spiderella is a cool thing to do. (What!) It was funny.

Being through with school for the day at 1:00pm and getting a full day's pay is a cool thing.

Now I am hunting for shamrocks to hang in my trees outside. There is still time to have a good day!

I owe this to someone who is supposed to look here for it:
The words to a crazy song:

I once knew a man who had 12 teeth --
Five on the top and five underneath;
One in the middle, that left one more...
That he kept back home in the bureau drawer.

"Yes," he said. "That is the truth!
That one is my very best tooth,
So I keep it home, safe and sound,
In my bureau drawer!"

Have a good day and don't lose your "very best tooth!"

Today is Yesterday

Cannery hair is really ugly!

After the cannery I went to my dad's to clean a little bit. I received a call from a friend who found herself stranded at the airport in need of a ride home. Her friend had dissed her once again. I think this is the third time I have heard that story and then been Rescue Ranger! It's all ok. I got her home and then went home to do the dinner thingy. After that we found ourselves on the other side of a church desk and wait now for further light and knowledge.

Now I must face the dentist. None know my anguish. This is no easy thing for me to do. I think I might possible prefer a mammogram, but since it won't show where the cavities (decay) are I don't think that is an option. Besides I have had the lifetime limit (2) and so I'm good to go. But not with the dentist. My heart sounds and feels like the machinery at the cannery!

I have been thanked for last week. What do they know, eh?

Well, since the tomato soup is in the can, I had better go to bed. Thanks for everything.

End of the Week

All things considered, the school week has ended in a calm and satisfactory fashion. Other than children whose families took them out of town and one little boy who couldn't come today, all the children were at school with smiles and hugs available to even me, the sub. We got thru it all ok. I only hope the teacher is satisfied with the way things have been handled. But it's not my worry anymore.

Looking forward: singing at Jamestown, taking my dad for a drive, tomato soup at the cannery, dentist (yuk), substituting in the library. I should try for pictures like some people do. But I have so many shoulds jockeying for first position, I'll just keep hoping that for now I can keep up writing every few days. Sorry it is that I haven't anything juicier for you to read.

Days 2 and 3

Because of card class last night I didn't "blog" and so here are two for one days. Not that it matters. Second day was still ok; until I found out on the third day (today) that a mom who had helped in the class Tues morning has complained to the principal that I was too mean to the children. I spoke too harshly. As an obvious result (now that I know this) that little boy didn't come to school today and probably won't the rest of the week. Oh well ...

Today we fell apart, probably at the seams. Hopefully we can mend some of those seams by tomorrow. One girl, after lunch, sat in her chair and cried---first tears, then sobs, then heaves, then wails. I took her by the hand and led her to the office where I left her in the capable hands (since mine are most assuredly not) and mom was called and came and collected poor dearie and took her home---where I am most certain she was not made to be responsible for anything. I can't wait to see some of these children in about ten to fifteen years. I hope they aren't taking care of older folks then. Another girl was crying quietly. I never found out what her problem was. These two tearing up the place made a boy cry who told me it made him miss his uncle who died many years ago. Oh, Please! I want to go home.

Well, tomorrow I have pledged to leave ALL lectures home and come only prepared to teach the lessons. I quake to think what this promise really means. But I will truly try.

And then Friday is the Valentine's party and I don't even know what to expect from that. I wish me luck. Who knows when I will come up for air again.

Day 1 - Second Grade

So much warning; so much ado about nothing. The day was uneventful and so I am arming my insides for change tomorrow. The only thing we didn't do well was the math lesson on how to describe 3 digit numbers. But we will review Tuesday and I think they will get it.

I didn't realize that I would be there for the Valentine's Party, so I probably should be getting valentines for these kiddos. Probably should for my own also.

Speaking of my own, there will be another little grandchild join our happy clan come this fall. I always thrill to hear the news. I am one.

Onward, then, to the next day.

The night is gone.

The food is gone.

The families are gone.

My stomach has gone---sour.

The rendition of cacauphony was "enjoyed" from New Jersey to Las Vegas. And in between.

Sadly, however, the mess has not gone.

Now to prepare for the second grade. I look forward already for the distractions of Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.

Today is Second Sunday Dinner at our house. We all come home and celebrate the birthdays of the month. This month, February, we celebrate JimBob, who has turned five; Miss Nicki, whose age can't be revealed unless she tells me I can; Sir John, who has the distinction of becoming one this year; my sister-in-law who knows how to play games and have tons of fun and laughter and makes puppy chow; My favorite fifth son, FireFighterMan, who loves his wife and beautiful children, loves triathalons and his dog, and still knows it's important to love mom---so he does.

There will be a cacauphonous rendition of happy to you that can only be rendered by those who truly know how to sing. Since two of my guys sang with Vocal Point, and the rest inherited same qualities, you can imagine what they COULD sound like if they wanted to make me cry (which has happened).

I usually fix roast, potatoes, gravy and such; or lasagna, salad, garlic bread;and a variety of other menus, but later today they will be greeted by a potato bar! You will have to stay tuned to see if they think that is a meal fit for a family or not.

Always a cake decorated with M and Ms. Homemade chocolate frosting (with lots left over so they can 'spoon' before dinner!)

Today there will be 22 for dinner with an additional 4 to 10 more coming for ice cream and cake. It's crowded (no, really?) but very satisfying to have family around.

Some sensitive soul sent me this:
"If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!"

Now this surely sounds true, at first hear (sight). But I'm thinking of a list that might contradict. It's just so blatantly silly it makes you laugh momentarily.

And, my friend with the decorations in the carport still --- at least they aren't lining the hallways in the basement!

Not much to share or important to say but at least there is an inscription for the day. So long.

A Person Worth Remembering

It was a nice evening in Fresno---I don't know if there are any anymore---and we were having a dance at the stake center on north Cedar, not too far from the place he stayed in while going to Fresno State. The dance was outside in the patio on the south side of the building. (In fact, their wedding reception would later be held there. I sang for them "And This is My Beloved.") I had gone to the front of the building for a little fresh air and alone time and was sitting on the brick planter. This really good looking young man drove up and leaned across the front seat to talk to me. He had dark hair and dark sparkling eyes---and his shirt was unbuttoned, maybe two or three buttons.

He asked what was going on and I tried to explain to him. I invited him in to the building and told him a little about the church and invited him to church the next Sunday to meet with the missionaries. To my great surprise he came. He is five or six years older than me and so our age difference at that particular time caused a little alarm with my parents. Anyway, he listened to the missionaries, the things he heard rang true. He remembered that his mother had taken them to a Mormon church some where in his past.

He was baptised three weeks after meeting the missionaries. I remember that he contemplated serving a mission, but married Pat instead. And I moved away to go to BYU. Pat helped at my wedding reception several years later and because I am lousy at writing and staying in touch it was a long time after I left Fresno as a married woman that I had any contact with these friends.

I am a fool for punishment. Tomorrow I will again attempt to be a terrific substitute teacher. In the morning, at one school, I will have two classes of "gifted and talented" elementary school children. In the afternoon I will again play rotating sub in two classes --- two different grades. It worked ok last week so I have no reason to think otherwise for tomorrow.

A second grade teacher called this afternoon and asked if I would be willing to take her class for a week in February. I love to know this far ahead that I have enough work to keep me at the store, spending.

A two year old sang for me tonight "Baa Baa Black sheep na na na na more. Yessir yessir three bags four." I was giggling too hard to hear the rest but it was great. She was on one and sang several songs for us. Oh to have the candid camera crew getting all this down for posterity. Heck with posterity I want to see it again NOW so I can giggle some more.

Not bad for a Wednesday.

The lamppost

No one was there! I need to learn how to do the brown buttered popcorn. That and a handful of carmels would be a terrific treat! Bring on the next assignment!

I remember a YELLOW ROSE

More to the point I remember the man who graciously handed out the yellow roses. It took me a little time to appreciated this man with the white beard. But the more interaction I had with him the more I came to respect him. One morning in the spring my friends and I were walking. We came to his cul de sac and walked in, to the end, and back out. On our way in we passed this brother who was out tending his roses. As we came back out he came to the road and greeted each of us with a rose. No words that I can recall; but what a lovely yellow rose. I will remember the gesture and continue to revere this man as a gentleman.

I promised another little bit for today. On Thursday evening I was at a screening for another LDS Lives show, this one for a pretty flamboyant music person from the sixties and seventies. After the showing there was a little reception and I helped my brother-in-law put out the goodies, serve the cake and generally hang around. After quite a bit of time I gathered up my coat and purse and looked in my bil's direction (he was chatting with the "star;" she was the chatter. And I began to sing "So long, farewell" from Sound of Music. The "star" looked my way and said, "Is that a hint? Is it time for me to go?"

So very embarrassed I apologized and said no that I was just saying good bye to my bil. She quit talking and walked away. Oh my. I put on my coat and headed for the nearest stairwell and exit door. I hope my bil will still talk to me. (Secretly I am thinking he was glad to be interrupted. At least I am surely hoping so.)

On the not so secret side, I got the distinct impression today that the contention part of the lesson was being hurled in my generall direction. One would say I am too touchy. But I am thinking I have grounds. Yep.

A week? It's been a week? Yep, it's been a week. On a day when it was warmer and we didn't have rain yet, all of my lawn ornaments were removed hence and placed in the garage. Oops. Now they are in the way. Nevermind that I did not put them there. And I am afraid they will stay til I can get to them or HE will throw them out (where he would like them to be anyway). (Are you laughing yet?)

Next, I went to an elementary school as a rotating teacher for the afternoon of Thursday. 45 minutes in one class and 40 in the other. Easy dollars that day, but next time they will probably make me actually EARN the money. Mmmm. Then I was the PE teacher? Hah! We all laughed and maybe even scoffed. I was not sad that the fourth grade decided to go swimming and so two of my classes weren't. When it finally gelled the rest of the day went in an interesting and PE fashion.

On a sad note I have learned that an old friend is suffering from Parkinson's and is actually in a "home" which I have not found out the particulars about. He lost his wife a few years ago to small cell non cancer cancer. It got her rather quickly once diagnosed. I wish I could "be there for him" but not knowing how to get hold of him poses the main problem. So does distance, but I can write or call once I know.

So this has been a ... week. Not come see, not come saw. But only come.

When are we looming? You have not called.

This will make you smile anyway since I bombed on the laughter: I took my little granddaughter with me in the car last Sunday and when we turned the corner to the east she cried out: "Snowflake!" at my friend's wonderful "star above the treetops." Well, it made ME smile anyway. But grandmas usually do.

Well after a few days hiatus from this wonderful activity I sit down to tell you that a teacher from the banned school called tonight, just now actually, and asked if I could work for her tomorrow. Sadly, I told her I certainly could but that the principal had said I could no longer work at their school and I was sure that one or both of us would be shot if I showed up!

We had a very interesting commiserating conversation in which we discovered we thought the same about children manipulating the system and not wanting to try very hard to "get along in the world." Let someone else fix this for me. Even tho I am only in first grade I don't have to comply.

A few years ago I had the opportunity for the umpteenth time to sub in my friend's kindergarten class. The morning went along nicely for about an hour when a young man said to me "Could I call my mom?" "Don't you feel well, Adam?" "Oh, I feel ok. But my mom told me that when you are the teacher I don't have to be at school." Well, I called the mom and told her the conversation and she said, "That's right. Would you please send him out to the flagpole?" I told her that I could not do that. The school rule was that the parent had to come in to the office and check the student out. Ok was her reply and that was the end of my school relationship with that child, who thinks he doesn't have to try to understand people, or tolerate situations or simply learn to get along. Good for mom. I wonder if she really is the winner.

We all have "crosses to bear." I have so many that it's a wonder on some days I can move across the floor let alone across the driveway to my car. In fact all the crosses wouldn't fit in my car! But I do see the value in teaching children to tolerate, to understand, to get along with "outsiders." What am I thinking! I guess I should be shot.

Today began with a lovely cold walk with a dear friend. Minutes upon returning home I received the dreaded phone call from the principal! Yes, my services have been terminated at his school. Parents are calling. Children are afraid to come to school. I am really MEAN! No, it's the angry facade I showed and I guess I need to grow up. I am not smarter than a first grader!

Have a great day!

I have missed acouple of days, or maybe it was just a day and seems like a couple of them. Today I was in second grade and the class was pretty good. I went and stood outside the Wild Things class and listened to the teacher. She was great! The children were quiet and answering her questions with hands up first. I don't know what I did wrong that day. and now the principal is calling and I don't know exactly what he will say. The teachers I work for always say how glad they are to have me and that everything is in its place when they come back. Also, the lessons have been taught. I have great forboding over this phone call and I know it will come and I think I know what the end result will be. Ah, me.

My dad had a dr check up yesterday and there was a decision to do an abdominal CT scan. I am involved in almost all of his medical life. I think it's good to have someone consistently with you for many reasons, most people would know what those are. Except for some and tonight I was told that I go overboard for my dad and should expect one of my siblings to help, etc. But I know that I won't have him for a lot longer and if I spend some time with him, it really shouldn't affect anyone else, as long as I am not forsaking my "duties" (how I hate that picture!). I guess that somewhere in here I should indicate that dad is 93 and a half years old. If I live that long I hope someone of my progeny will want me around and be willing to care for me.

Maybe I should borrow some of dad's prozac. Things are a little bleak.

Boy, did I have a bad day at Bedrock today. The day was like a bad rendition of Where the Wild Things Are. And I know where they were today! One good thing was the assembly. Believe it or not. The man who presented is a wildlife catcher, marker and follower. I don't really know what his career choice is exactly. But for a living he goes to Africa, Australia, South America, etc., and helps control or other wise rid the inhabitants of unwanted wildlife. He was very interesting and his pictures were pretty awesome. Some maybe even gruesome. I go in to fourth grade tomorrow. Courage, Pam, courage.

Here I am again and I should be in bed!!! I was checking abc4 Good Things Utah and saw that there will be a bit on the show Tuesday about being rudely cut in front of in line at the grocery and I couldn't help but make a comment. Hooray! I am getting so brave. Good night. Courage to try to sleep.

I had a really difficult time dealing with today. Never do I have trouble sleeping. But last night I lay in bed for one and a half hours before I decided that was a waste of time. So I gathered my blanket and pillow and headed downstairs to read The Christmas Sweater, which I haven't finished yet. Still, the night passed in 20 minute snitches of sleep. Then I turned down a job and still had trouble getting on with the day. Tomorrow is not that kind of luxury so I really should be off to bed.

Another blogger said she had made a commitment to make and entry in her blog every day. That is how I have come to feel in the short week I have been doing this. And sometimes it is extremely inconvenient to take the moment to write.

Well, tomorrow is first grade, Wednesday is fourth grade and Thursday is second grade. Guess I should get as much rest as I can, eh?

Today was second Sunday dinner with all who can coming home for dinner and cake and ice cream to celebrate the birthdays of the month, i.e., January. There were for dinner only 17. For cake and ice cream we bump that up to 25. We had several sick and/or working and some who forgot. In the winter that makes us pretty close. But I don't mind. I like everyone coming home.

I had a hard time sitting in church today. I guess I am not very close to getting past the incidious incident yet.

This morning I received a late Christmas present from a daughter-in-law. It almost redeemed the whole season. I have read it over now many times and cried with each reading. The book is titled: "My Grandchildren 2008" and on each page is a picture of a grandchild and a note, where possible, from that child saying what they like about grandma. A seven and a half year old wrote, sic, "I like grandma becuse she always plans a day for a family get together so when pepole live far away we can see them and she makes the most delisuse food." A five year old wrote, "I like going to grandma's house because there are lots of toe's, and she is nice, and she loves me."

The others were also great! But this is why. This is why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. This is why. I pray that my Heavenly Father will bless these wonderful children. And that they will continue to grow and understand and know. Know that their grandma loves them. Loves them each and loves them all.

Today, I have spent time in fourth grade, time with my dad, time at a card class with wonderful friends, and time with one of my sons and his family. I haven't spent enough time on this new project, i.e. this blog. And now I am trying to plan dinner for Sunday for 20 - 25 people. Which is crazy even tho I do it every month because there is NOWHERE in this house for that many people to actually be let alone eat and have kids running around. But, you know, it's family and I usually stand a little back and watch and feel blessed that they are all here and will tolerate each other for just a little while.

One day I will get things together enough to pass out assignments for dinner and not feel obliged to do it all myself. It is very expensive to feed that many and also exhausting. Well, enough of that.

We made some really cute cards at our card class tonight. (Frankly, we do EVERY time.) What an island of enjoyment that is. I wander and am not keeping a thought very well so I am through for tonight.

I figured I shouldn't miss a day now that I've started this. So quickly before the midnight hour, I am in another fourth grade tomorrow. In a different school. It will be interesting to see if this group is as incapable as the last.

And today I was in kindergarten. I figured I could do it for a half day. Whew! Kudos to the regular teachers. There is definitely a different mindset needed for this age group. I am talking each time in relation to how they are in the classroom. I love finding out that I know the families of these children. When parents come to collect their kids I often have the privilege of saying, "I KNOW you!"

Oh yes. And I went walking this morning with my friend. We didn't go for too long as we walked outside. But it was long enough for me to find a piece of ice that didn't want to be walked on. And down I went. I am thinking that this is part of my weariness tonight.

Well, I tried to correct a spelling error in the last post and can't seem to figure it out so here is my mistake: digext should be digest. Thanks.

What an afternoon. All fourth graders - and fourth grades - are not created equal. It was amazing to me what these little critters couldn't do. Or more to the point, what they wanted me to do for them instead of them using their little brains and finding the answers for themselves. But I have seen it over and over again. In fact I will be in another fourth grade on Friday in another part of the county and I will see similarities.

I was reading chapters in a book to this little class today and there came a topic of parents loving their children equally or not. We talked for only a moment about this theme and decided --- well, I told them that I as a mother DO love my children equally. But that I love them in different ways. I will have to digext that one for a while. I know I have thought about it before. And frankly I would like to think that each of those boys thought I loved THEM the best, or most. That would indicate that I had spent some quality time with each of them singularly.

Today I have been thinking about what I could actually put here that might be uplifting and show that I am not always such a loser and negative. And the first thing I came up with was to mention my children. I have eight really nice boys. Six of them have brought daughters-in-law to the mix. All six have chosen wisely. I praise the mothers of those young women and thank them for the quality of persons they raised so that my sons would have the ultimate benefit.

Each of these men has a different and unique personality. I used to think that if you were raised in the same family in the same community that you would be more alike but that has proven not to be true. Similar in some respects. But not alike. We did scouting faithfully in our family. The boys each earned the rank of Eagle Scout --- sometimes under the tuteledge of their father as scout master, sometimes with others. We have heard what they learned from some of the scout masters and are glad their father was with them most of the time. I would hope that as they grow older and have opportunity that they will also serve in the scouting organization. Their father and I each have the Silver Beaver award and have spent many years even since their activity in volunteering. In fact, the dad is still working with scouts as a trainer and commissioner.

More later. The clock tells me I am almost late for my job.

I suppose I could get attached to this habit.I just need lessons on how to have a more comfortable blog. When do I get the lesson? Oh, wait. Maybe...

And it snowed all the day long. Whew!

It's glad I am that I don't have to worry about anyone reading this blog. Today the snow is so constant and two of ours have already been stuck in it that I don't seem to have the energy to go out and face the mess. But things could change.

I just had the occasion to read my friend's blog --- the one who said I should try this out. I will never be in her league. She writes funny, fun stuff. And besides that, she DOES the fun stuff. I sit here with necessity being the inventor of my daily life. And what a bore is that!

So today it took me all morning to get things together to face the recycler and other stops along the way til I got to dad's house. By then the snow was so bad that I couldn't bear to stay long with dad. I swept his walk and then bade farewell and went on home before it got too dark. I think we have about 15 inches of new snow in our yard just from the afternoon. I don't mind but the driving is difficult. Watch out for the loony birds who think they know how to drive in the snow!

It is the end of another Sunday, with some of the family coming over to hang for the night, play the Wii --- and eat, too, I suppose. I like the family around me but still find this chapter of my "book" to be a little confusing as I sort out the roles I play. Mainly, I need to fire myself from the self-appointed role of cruise director. It's time to quit. I am probably sea sick anyway. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, great aunt, great grand aunt, sister-in-law, and other -in-laws. Friend, too.

School starts again tomorrow and I will be on call to substitute. I enjoy that title too ---substitute teacher --- which I have been doing for 30 years now.

So I have been told to create a blog and empty my ideas onto this page. I wonder what good it will do? But I guess I can join the hordes and give it a try.